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Another one bites the dust! |
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Written by Faisel
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Wednesday, 29 April 2009 15:44 |
Hi All,
Its that time of the week again ... when the rest of you get to feel a portion of the torture that poor Munaf has to live with in the office .... on a daily basis ........ its sports rant time! No Rashid... we wont be dissing Herschel in this Blog ... that would be sacrilege, and I dont have the energy to debate you on this .....
Newsflash! Readez vous all about it!
In the words of Freddie Mercury ... "Another one bites the Dust" ... you should have been at last night's match. The barbarian horde under new captaincy for the night came up against a well-kitted Platinum Stars. The opposition would have been more appropriately named if it had been "Schalk Burger and the Hobbits", as that was exactly the make-up of the opposition. Still feeling a little tender from the previous season (im sure there are still many guys at Cell-Life who are still tender from last season) I decided that I would watch the beginning of the match from the outside. From this point I was able to witness the match properly, not in supersonic mode (when hyperventilating and lactose buildup make the match seem in superpursuitmode - only knightrider fans will know this term). I was very impressed with what I saw, and Im proud to anounce Cell-Life's arrival as a complete footie team.
Stevie G Schafer was in a no-nonsense mood, playing with the elegance that Liverpool could only dream of. He really schafed around the court with that Lionel Messi flair, unlocking the Hobbits defense and setting up Lushakes Mashaba for his first goal in Cell-Life's colours. A beautiful switch of feet led to the hobbits falling all over the place (in the wrong direction) before the Jabu Pule lookalike slotted home with thunderous fury, blasting the ball past Schalk Burger. Not even the hairstyle could help the Schalk in keeping the ball out of the net!
Im seriously contemplating renaming the team Super Cells, as all our players seemd to have Duracells in. It was really the first match where we ran continuously, opening gaps in the other team like a packet of chips, toying with our food like kitty cats before delivering the killer blow. Big Mac as always, is impenetrable at the back, and was shown to be no slouch when playing in the midfield. I do however, have to be honest with you all ..... I feel much more secure when that 6ft4, 3ft wide frame is occupying the goal. I felt really sorry for Frodo and company, who had the presence of a cave troll to contend with. if you remember the scene where the troll bursts into the room (movie 1) tearing down the walls before smashing everything up, you can imagine the carnage that was laid down on the halflings. We all know that Schalk Burger can compete with Chuck Norris, but poor old Schalk couldnt handle the presence of the Big Mac - in Deluxe mode.
It seemed like Cell-Life had 80% of the posession last night, and even though the scoreline was 4-0 (our first cleansheet - Petr Cech, eat your heart out!), it was no reflection on the carnage that was dealt out. Im sure those poor chaps will be feeling a bit down after having touched the ball less than a dozen times in the whole match and only stringing together their only passes at the kick-off .... but as we know better than anyone else.. a wounded dog is a dangerous dog.
One thing is still lacking at these events, and that is crowd support. If the IPL can have cheerleaders making everything fun, then I dont see why we cant. We have some of the biggest names in sport in our team, and are fully deserving of some support. We have Stevie G, Lushakes Mashaba, Shoes Mukudu, Eben (Tank) Conley, Salsa Limbada, Big Mac (already a household name in every South African's home ..... and more .....)
Lets support our MIBs ...... ONE LOVE!
On another note, lets have an eatathon next week at the Champions League 2nd leg venue ... venue anyone????
Peace out!
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